Out and About – Week of January 4th

Happy New Year! 2010 is already five days old, and I still have my list of New Year’s resolutions. Whether I adhere to that list still remains to be seen. I just hope I don’t misplace it. I’ve always preferred the even numbered years. Don’t ask me why. Perhaps it’s because I was born in an even-numbered year, or maybe it’s because I don’t particularly care for odd things. Who knows, or better yet, who really cares?

This is the time of the year when there aren’t an awful lot of things going on, so as a result, one has the time to get some things in order. For example, I’m getting receipts ready for my annual visit to see the taxman. I’m sorry. I mean the tax person. I must do my best to be politically correct. Just one of my many resolutions. Along that same line, I am trying to get my office in order. If you’ve ever seen my office, you know that it needs some serious attention. I hate throwing things away, because I keep thinking that the minute I put it in the dumpster, I’ll need it. Time for more informative stuff.

I failed to mention anything about the latest Glenn Miller Orchestra performance at the Riviera Theatre. It happened this last December 20 and, as usual, was an event to remember. The unfortunate thing about the concert was that there were plenty of empty seats. That’s really a shame, because those who decided not to attend missed out on some fantastic music. I could even understand the lyrics to the songs and can even whistle “In the Mood”. As hard as I try, I can’t remember one song that dealt with overthrowing the government or killing a cop. If we had wanted to, we could have even danced to most of the music. Thank you, Riviera, for providing two hours of wholesome entertainment.

I mentioned dancing in the above paragraph. When it comes to dancing, I’m a very good painter. Line dancing has become very popular over the past couple of years. If you visit Texas Roadhouse in Portage, you might see the servers do a minute or two of fine footwork. Anyway, it’s a Country Western thing, and the Three Rivers Senior Center is offering the opportunity to learn this style of dancing and have fun doing it. Instructor Richard Leeth will help the Fred Astaire wanna-bes every Wednesday from 4:30 to 6 P.M. at the Three Rivers Senior Center, 103 South Douglas in Three Rivers. The cost of the class is $3 per class. For more information, please contact the Senior Center at 279-8083 or call toll free at 800-641-9899.

I’ve mentioned several times that I realize I should lose a few pounds. Some of my closest friends have made remarks to that effect, to me. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, I saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel fat before dinner.

I’ll close this week with several more “Laws of Ultimate Reality”:

LAW OF THE ALIBI – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

LAW OF THE BATH – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF THE THEATER – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

See you Out and About!

Submitted by Norm Stutesman

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